About Me

Hmm… Who am I? That is a very complicated question that cannot be answered in a simple way. Maybe I should start with how people perceive me. First Off I dont have many if any enemies or people who do not like me. The reason I mention this is because I find it funnny because I don’t like most people because they aggravate me. Now that may seem a bit cruel but its the simple fact that most people lack basic common sense and for as long as I can remember I have had very little tolerance for the lack there of. Now before you get all retarded about that statement note that I said MOST not all. This doesnt mean I think your an idiot or that I don’t like you. I just said I don’t like MOST people. Chances are if your taking the time to read this you know me well enough to want to learn more about me and if you know me that well chances are I like you or at least that I can stand to be around you

Don’t let the above paragraph make you think I’m a very mean or gloomy person. I’m actually pretty fun to be around and pretty much a big goofy dork. The reason most people like me or at least don’t dislike me is because of a few simple rules I have.

Rule #1 is never get into peoples personal business. 99% of the time you end up being the bad guy when you do that because whatever drama problem they are having usually gets resolved and then their focus shifts to you or they make up with the other person and you become the bad guy for supporting them.

Rule #2 is never gossip about anything anybody tells you about someone else. This ALMOST ALWAYS backfires and again puts you in the middle of something you had no business sticking your nose into. Just smile and nod when someone starts to gossip it works every time.

Rule #3 is always try to see the humor in any problem you or the person your with is having. Look at the bright side and make the best of it. Remember Emo cat is never happy

Rule #4 is try to make every person you meet that day laugh at least once. I promise that being the dork of the bunch thats not afraid to sacrifice himself for a laugh has never caused me any problems or made anyone think any less of me.

Those rules where just common sense for me and I’ve follow them since before I can remember.

I consider myself to be a very smart person and almost everything I know I’ve learned by doing myself and I don’t ask for much help. All my life I’ve been intrigued how things worked. Since I was a small kid I can remember my mom getting mad at me for taking radios and electronics apart. I guess thats why most of the time I can look at anything mechanical and pretty much guess how it works inside and be right 99% of the time. Computers have been something that have always fascinated me too, I guess that would fall under the electronics field… I don’t want to sound like one of those over confident shit heads who don’t really know shit. Fact is I’m actually pretty much the opposite. I lack confidence most of the time even if I’m 200% sure it’s something I can handle. Now that doesn’t mean that i mess up all the time because of the lack of confidence it just means you wont be hearing me gloating and ranting about how “I got this” or how good I am at something. This about me page is about as close to “tooting my own horn” as I ever get and thats just because I would like for people to know these things about me. Most of the time I go about my business silently and handle things without a big fuss. Often times this does cause me issues because of how easy I make some things look it devalues the things that I do to the people I do them for.

At the risk of sounding like a weirdo I am going into this next section stating to you that this is just a feeling and I am in no way stating it as a fact. But for as long as I can remember things “just worked” for me. Even if something is acting funky and not working for someone most of the time just the act of me walking over makes things work. You can ask anyone who spends any amount of time around me it happens to them all the time. I will admit that most of the time its because I just know how stuff works in general and can figure them out quickly but there are times like I said where I just walk in that direction and things start to work like some type of aura. Yes I said it would make me seem like a weirdo but its true. Maybe I’m like Neo from Matrix LOLZ no I’m just kidding. Like I said I’m not stating it as any type of fact just an observation shared by me and any people I’m around. Maybe it’s just luck or Karma I don’t know. SO take this paragraph however you want and DONT JUDGE ME!

All my life I have been this weird combination of a hermit and a social body that has made things very confusing for me. I have an overwhelming urge to hide away from the world and people but feel the need to be needed and wanted. Not so much popular as just being wanted. It is a very hard struggle to have and causes lots of issues with friends who want to be close. As for real life friends I don’t have many. A handful is it. I have hundreds of online friends that I speak to every day and get a long with very well. I guess I might be de-socialized but I honestly think I’m more socialized on the internet then I would be if I didn’t have the internet. The reason I say that is because of a theory I came up with its called “The Red X“ theory. What this means is you feel differently about the people you meet online because you know at any given moment if a situation becomes uncomfortable your 1 click on the red X away from removing yourself from the situation. Someone pisses you off BAM click the red X and they go away. I guess for mac users it would be the red dot In real life if someone is aggravating me or being an idiot I can’t just click the red X to make them go away and I guess it creates a sense of nervousness I’d rather just not feel. I think they have a term for that, whats it called? “Social Anxiety” I think it is. I never believed in making excuses for the way people are or the troubles they have and I only use that term to explain my weirdnesses. Those who know me know how quiet I can be but they also know how out of control crazy fun I can be too. it all depends on the comfort level I am currently at.

Today I am a freelance programmer doing random things with PHP that people tell me your not supposed to be able to do. But thats kinda what I’ve always done. I like making things do things they’re not supposed to. I’ve spent most of the past 7 years learning PHP and many other web based languages like css, html, xhtml, xml, php, asp and learned to be very efficient in creating RAD apps for clients using a LAMP setup. I’ve created everything from a centralized time clock system for a check cashing conglomerate to making a front and back end of a streaming radio station. Right now I am working for a few really close clients building stuff like wordpress plugins and niche websites. I made a new years resolution to officially start my company up this year. Its really retarded that its been this long and I havent done it already. I guess the free in freelance was just that apealing. That and relationship distractions kept me from proper focussing. Not a problem anymore

About a little over 3 years ago I met the most wonderful woman in the world. She is my beautiful angel. She restored my faith in humanity and love. I know I know oh GAWD here comes the sappy crap. But I have to say it, I have too… Vanessa was this angel that popped into a webcam chat site we used to frequent one day and she stopped me dead. I felt her as soon as she entered. And felt that she had to be in my life. I didn’t know for what reason at that point but I felt it. I didn’t even know to what level she needed to be in my life but I knew she had to be. From there is a really long story that I will tell in another post some day. But we’ve been together for awhile now and it’s time to start focusing on fixing my issues as a “freelancer”. Because I am a “freelancer” in every sense of the way. I have no real schedules and don’t plan much else outside of project deadlines and such. Thats all going to change this year.